I spotted a familiar face from my exit row seat.
It was my dear friend, Sally, a fellow traveler in this messy business of being human. What a sweet surprise to be on the same flight of a long-overdue reunion with our friend, Nancy, who lives in the mountains and would host us.
What happened over those few days together wasn’t just catching up with precious friends, it was accidentally conducting important field research.
When Life Becomes Your Laboratory
Picture this: Three women in various stages of navigating life’s curve balls.
Sally, exhausted from years of caregiving; Nancy, navigating the heavy fog of grief; and me, processing a season of varied losses.
We came together not with an agenda, but with intention. To simply be. To create breathing room for the ups and downs, our transitions, so life could unfold with greater ease and grace.
What unfolded was pure magic—the kind that makes neuroscientists very excited, especially this one.
The “Immersion” Brain Network
While we were sleeping in, sharing stories and tears over our morning coffee, and hiking in the fresh mountain air—our brains were doing something remarkable.
Enter Dr. Paul Zak’s groundbreaking research. He and his team discovered what he calls the “Immersion” brain network—a neural pattern that predicts thriving with 98% accuracy.
This isn’t just feel-good fluff; it’s hard science measuring 140 neural signals up to 1,000 times per second from over 50,000 participants.
Zak’s discovery? Our brains have a measurable “thriving signature” that involves the following (you won’t be surprised if you’ve read my work):
Being Present:
Where dopamine binds to the prefrontal cortex, our seat of our executive functioning, and,
Emotional Resonance:
When oxytocin lights up our brain stems and our subgenual cortex—where mood, emotion, and visceral states register (think ‘mood thermostat’).
Here’s the kicker:
Peak experiences consistently involved other people. Particularly activities that brought others joy.
The Six-Peak Rule
Zak’s research reveals what we need to maintain positive moods – six peak Immersion experiences per day—each lasting 3+ minutes—that’s it!
During our mountain time together, we achieved this without trying:
✓ Morning coffee conversations
✓Hiking and telling stories, exploring challenges
✓Afternoon poetry sharing, letting wisdom sink in
✓ Music and tears and laughter
✓ Evening heart-to-hearts with more tears and laughter
✓Late-night ice cream (Premium research, people.)
We weren’t just hanging out, we were vibrating with each other.
As a teacher of ours might say; achieving synchronous resonance where our nervous systems were aligning and meaningful connections made.
The Resonance Reality Check
Sometimes stored fears and trauma act like “socks in a bell,” dampening our resonance and muffling our energy signals.
Our mountain retreat reminded me that meaningful change happens when we shift the conditions for resonance:
- Clearing the static of life
- Aligning our head and heart
- Being present enough to tune in to each other’s frequency/intuition
The Friendship Prescription (Science-Backed, Heart-Approved)
A few highlights from the research, and my applied field study, about thriving:
Invest in Relationships Like Your Mental Health Depends on It(Spoiler: It does)
- Serve others and strengthen social ties through reciprocity
- Treat friends without keeping score
- Celebrate others’ joy (the fancy term is “confelicity”—let that roll off your tongue three times fast!)
Practice Presence
- Put others’ needs ahead of your own (practicing virtues – Ben Franklin was onto it!)
- Create space for the messiness of transition to arise—yours and theirs- and let intuition to guide you
- Allow grief and joy to coexist (they’re surprisingly good roommates as we discovered)
For the 50% of Americans with Three or Fewer Close Friends
- Volunteer (builds relationships while strengthening your Immersion network)
- Get a dog (seriously—the research backs this up)
- Act on your life purpose (what do you care about anyway?)
Your Turn: The SIX App Challenge
Speaking of measuring what matters, I’ve been experimenting with the SIX app—designed to track your daily thriving score based on this Immersion research. It’s like a Fitbit for your emotional well-being.
This week, I’m tracking my six daily peaks and noticing patterns via a few key questions:
- What activities consistently light me up?
- What’s in my Immersion network?
- When do I feel most “in sync” or vibrationally aligned” with the people around me?
Try This: For one week, intentionally create six 3-minute+ moments of connection or joy daily. Notice what works. Notice what doesn’t. Notice how your energy shifts.
The Bottom Line (With Extra Love)
In a world obsessed with productivity hacks and optimization, and splintered by polarizing vibes, the most profound research keeps pointing us back to the simplest truth: We thrive in connection.
Not the surface-level, social-media-scroll kind. The deep-in-the-bones, present-moment, I-see-you-and-you-see-me kind.
The kind where three friends can gather in grief and transition and somehow leave more whole than when they arrived.
What’s Next?
I’m diving deeper into practical applications of this thriving research. How do we create more Immersion moments in our daily lives? How do we build resonance in our teams, our families, our communities?
Hit reply and tell me: What’s one relationship you’d like to invest in more intentionally? What would your SIX daily peaks look like?
Here’s the beautiful truth that neuroscience confirms: Our brains work harder on things that matter. And connection? That matters most of all.
P.S. Sally, Nancy — thank you for being my favorite research partners!
Ready to measure your thriving? Download the SIX app and start tracking your daily Immersion peaks. Your brain will thank you.
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ABOUT THE CREATOR OF The Leadership Pause
I’m Dr. Chris Johnson, I coach changemakers and leaders with practical tools to pause, feel, and zero in on their old strategies to renew their energy, extend compassion, make clear decisions, and create real change by using their power skills. Learn more at: Q4-Consulting.com
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