It was dusk, the light dappled through the trees as the sun was setting.
We enjoyed the quiet forest. Then slowly the sparks of light began to blink all around.
We sat, mesmerized by the magic of tiny fireflies gently breezing through the trees.
Joy filled my heart, softening in a much-needed reset.
The Default Mode
I find that it’s easier – maybe you do too – to try grapple with and compartmentalize my emotions when they’re twisted up in tension or flattened out in the fear of dealing with all that’s not normal these days e.g. as we’ve known it to be historically.
Notice, I didn’t say easy, but easier.
But, I’m not good at compartmentalizing, more default than design.
So, when I’m more tired than I care to to admit or more irritated than I know what to do with, I default cramming my emotions into tiny boxes that I can arrange in attempts to be more efficient with my energy.
Even so, the energy costs are too high; the relational costs subtle yet even more devastating.
Plus, I don’t want to be skillful in compartmentalizing my experiences in hopes of weathering the strident storms all around us.
No, instead I’m working with myself to consistently reset my nervous system, to create the conditions to both feel – fearful, engaged, tired, interested, outraged, open, exhausted, energized – and turn towards the stark realities at hand. Doing so allows me to settle, soften and open to possibilities for the days ahead.
It’s arduous work, as taxing as the 4-mile hike, in 90-degree weather, through the hilly terrain, that we trekked last weekend, yet equally satisfying.
Befriend Your Nervous System
As noted last month, a well-regulated nervous system provides a crucial and spacious foundation for each of us to create a bit of magic in our lives.
Learning to stay with the discomfort in trying moments – not numbing out, or turning away or avoiding, but feeling the welling up of a myriad of feelings and welcoming them all – is key to that reset we’re longing for.
To clearly see ‘what’s so’ allows us to re-regenerate and reregulate our nervous systems with intention and smarts. It’s what environmentalist, businessman and author, Paul Hawken, describes as “putting life at the center of every action and decision.”
Yet like fireflies who caught our attention, gently nudging us to pause into that very moment deep in the woods, we can pause to seek out moments of light, possibilities, in our daily lives by tuning into nature, the wisdom of our lived experiences, our amazing bodies and the deeply felt concerns that enliven us.
It boils down to a willingness to pause, notice what’s actually here now, then tune into our hearts.
All those feelings we box up, push down, or avoid can dissolve and soften, opening us up to new possibilities.
Generating possibility is a creative act, an act of commitment and love. It’s a stand from the depths of who we are. It’s a muscle needing work and development. It takes practice.
What fireflies have you noticed lately? Drop me a line at DrChris@q4-consulting.com.
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ABOUT THE CREATOR OF The Leadership Pause
I’m Dr. Chris Johnson, I coach changemakers and leaders with practical tools to pause, feel, and zero in on their old strategies to renew their energy, extend compassion, make clear decisions, and create real change by using their power skills. Learn more at: Q4-Consulting.com
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