My husband texted me an unattributed quote last week, telling me, “This sounds like you.”
“My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to stay sane.”
He was right, it did sound like me in my attempts to not act on impulse to scream or throttle someone. Maybe you too.
As mentioned last month,while I firmly believe in the power of being heartbroken to either destroy us or crack us open, I’m not keen on the former.
This leaves the latter – cracking open – and honestly, it’s hard. Very hard. Either way, it involves making active choices about how to respond to life’s triggers, including recent news.
It can all be a bit much.
Let me back up a minute. When we’re confronted by life, triggered, thrown, our biology is provoked, but it’s typically outside of our conscious awareness. To address the tension, our biological reactions are to resist or fight, flee in one form or another (all avoidance strategies fall into this category, e.g. that extra glass of wine when you know you’d be better off without it, working overtime with a great excuse like ‘my name goes in for a Pulitzer Prize,’ tuning out with way too much bad TV – you get the idea), or freeze.
We all know this experientially, yet we long for the ever elusive, even blissful, state of balance, one that’s even keel and calm. It feels safe – and impossible to hold on to – because it is.
Viktor Frankl, wise sage, reminds us, “Mental health is based on a certain degree of tension…Such tension is inherent in the human being and therefore is indispensable to mental well-being.”
Without being overly dramatic, he’s telling us to embrace the tension to use it wisely. Maybe it’s a bit like practicing plucking scratchy notes on violin strings to create something beautiful out of all the scratches – even if only in time. To my understanding, that’s an example of turning toward heartache or irritation, opening to it, and allowing it to unfold.
So, I’m working with it.
I’ve chosen to limit my news watching time – for now and on purpose – to one hour per week, only scanning headlines to stay informed of major events. (Besides, we’ll hear about the major ones eight-five times before the week’s out so I don’t have to know more than headlines now). Besides, if activism, as Parker Palmer shares, is a commitment to take action around what’s on my heart, then I’ll start small, at home, today.
At the same time, I’ve recommitted to taking stock of what’s actually nourishing my over stimulated biologyso I can continue to function while my heart is breaking – a pause practice of sorts.
Am I taking time to drink more water?
Would going to bed earlier a few nights help?
Who knew MCTin my morning coffee would be so helpful?
Pillars to Self Assess
In my book, The Leadership Pause, I discuss four pause practices that support self-awareness to look at what’s nourishing and what’s not in these times.
Self-Observation – Attention practices reveal emotional information through body awareness, helping us see experience with fresh eyes rather than through past strategies. What are you noticing today?
Self-Acceptance – With awareness, we can embrace what’s true rather than living from old patterns or others’ agendas. Take a breath and acknowledge that you are where you are – today – and accept yourself.
Self-Correction – Regulate your emotional responses by catching your triggers (like current news) and notice the impact on our body and mind.
Self-Generation– With intentional practice we can embody greater creativity and resourcefulness, congruent with our values. Energy spikes and new options become clear.
So, what about you?
How do you find yourself reacting, biologically, then emotionally?
What choices are you making to grapple with the state of your heart and what you care about?
Could it be that the tension you’re experiencing is fodder for clarity? For action?
Frankl thinks so, “What man needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
Instead of doomscrolling this month, check out a few focused alternatives – small, daily actions – that can support you in choosing a meaningful response over reactivity.
Click here for a printable PDF of small actions that will support you while your cracking open.
What do you think about the role of tension? Reach me at DrChris@q4-consulting.com.
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ABOUT THE CREATOR OF The Leadership Pause
I’m Dr. Chris Johnson, I coach changemakers and leaders with practical tools to pause, feel, and zero in on their old strategies to renew their energy, extend compassion, make clear decisions, and create real change by using their power skills. Learn more at: Q4-Consulting.com
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